A paper zine for people who hate people.

Thanks for helping!!!

There are some specific people that I need to thank for helping pay for the printing of this issue. Without them, it seriously would not have happened in the foreseeable future. While in theory it doesn't matter how much or how little you gave, the fact that my father-in-law was literally the difference between making my goal and not, I have to thank him especially for his generosity. I'll put a note next to everyone to say thanks. No good deed goes unpunished, now when you get googled, people will find this zine. Sorry! To thank you, here's a glimpse of Elizabeth Hurley's nipple.

These are published chronologically in order of donation, not by amount. I really do not care how much you gave, I am just glad I got enough to print the zine and give everyone something to show for their money.

John Bligh - A friend of mine from college that I didn't meet until 20 years after graduating.

Andrea Lipomi - One of my oldest zine friends, she did a zine, ran a distro, was politically actively and I think I met her for the first time in Las Vegas in 2011. She was just as awesome in person as I had hoped. She's also beautiful, something she hid from me for a long time.

Ron Rocheleau - The man responsible for my favorite public access show, Concrete TV. He also introduced me to Garett Holden, who did the covers and lots of other art. Ron is the nexus for so many friendships and he's a classic New York character who makes friends wherever he goes.

JMHS - My wife secretly kicked in $100.

J. Thomas Hunsucker - My father-in-law threw in $500 to blow my mind.

Marta Shirley - My mom.

Jeffrey Daniel Xavier Somers - Publisher of the Inner Swine. He has sent me so many free issues of his zine that he was due a free copy anyway, but he donated and didn't even request the free copy. He'll get a couple of copies and he gets a lot of plugs in the actual zine.

Graeme Williams - I don't know Graeme personally, but he seems to be a longstanding fan of the zine.

Shans - My uncle Jon, who has turned out to be a big fan.

Conan Neutron - Lead singer and songwriter for Victory & Associates, Replicator and probably a dozen other bands. He's a good writer, too. I am hoping to get a story out of him for NegCap 6.

David S. Wallens - One of only 3 first cousins that I have. He also gave me a great proofread very close to publication, which I totally appreciated.

Daniella Jaeger - She works for Kickstarter and just liked my video. She also helped me get promoted on Kickstarter, which I think really helped me to reach my goal. She tried to get me to be project of the day but it wasn't meant to be. I still think she's super cool, even though she's only gave $1, I want her to feel like she got BEYOND her money's worth, for just $1.

Deflagrati0n - A stranger who seems to like my video.

Johnnie Utah - I think this is a pseudonym for a girl but I don't know him/her. THANKS!

Nikki Coles - The coolest chick in all of the UK.

Brian Ong - One of my wife's friends from work, I don't want to say boss, but they work together and are very similar.

Katie Kretschmer - My regular proofreader, former co-worker (from 95-97) and one of my oldest friends. I love Katie. I usually call her Kaptain Kellie Krunchbar, but this is her real name.

Kelly O'Shaughnessy - A friend of my sister's who is a lot like my sister, just a super cool, positive, kind person.

Nathan Fan - One of my wife's closest friends from work, even though they no longer work together. He's the same kind of weird as my wife and he pledged some odd amount just for fun. He also doesn't know but he contributed a useful way to earn bonus miles in the story "How to Jew A Dime Out of a Nickel" AND he also contributed a catchphrase to "Callback."

Curbside Splendor Publishing - My friend Victor's publishing venture. He is also going to be publishing a short story of mine called Terminal Velocity. That story also appears in Negative Capability #5. We'll see who can publish it first.

Bill Hirsch - My grandmother's first cousin who is in his 80's. He doesn't understand the zine at all, he just thinks I am acting out to get attention, but he supports me anyway. He's a great guy and I am glad he is in my family. Or I am in his.

Margaret Williams - I feel like I should know her but I don't think I do. I feel like she is friends with my in-laws or something like that.

Wasabi Distro - One of my favorite penpals who lives in Japan, Andrea Hope. She entered a trivia contest in one of my early zines and we've been friends ever since. I hope to see her whenever she comes back to NY to visit. I met her while she was living in Japan, though she actually took classes at my college in New York many years ago.

Natasha Aronberg - My wife's best friend, a guest contributor to #3 and #5 with some great Mini-Rants and a wonderful friend and mom. Tash has contributed a lot of attitude and she's very funny.

Roland Besserer - A stranger who will be a friend one day.

Kara Krupnick - One of my sister's close friends from high school. She was always very nice to me and we have always been in touch on social network sites, hopefully one day I'll see her again in the meatspace. She also hooked me up with VIP tickets to see the Daily Show and I got to be a hero for a day. I had such a great time and I hope to do it again!!

Rob Senzon - My former co-worker who taught me some useful computer stuff and to appreciate the depth of feeling in Kenny Rogers. Even though he lives in New Jersey, he's a cool guy. I bet he won't come to the launch party because when the whistle blows at the end of the work day, he wants to just go home and play video games.

Mariem - My friend George's wife. We went to school together but I don't think I ever met her. I didn't even realize it was her when she backed me, I thought she was a French woman but it's Marie M., not Mariem.

Jessica Frost - Another person I went to college with who I don't know personally but who I like anyway.

Kevin Bunce - Kevin is my biological great-grandson.

Jonathan Glover - I think Jonathan and Charles are both guys from Purchase that got hit with a fundraising spam and decided to support me.

Charles Alexander Zorn - I think we went to Purchase, which might be the only thing we have in common so far.

Adrienne Biddle - An ex-girlfriend that I was very mean to. I even wrote a mean piece about her in #4. Then I wrote a mean follow-up for #5. Then I realized I was being a dick about it and I took out the mean stuff and replaced it with nice stuff.

Robert Moskal - Stranger danger!

Michelle Van Demark - Another ex that I stay in touch with via Words with Friends. She paid me the highest compliment when she said it makes her so happy to beat me.

John Hewitt - He's a friend from my stay-at-home dads group. He has a little boy named Rhys who is so darn cute. I always liked him but I thought he didn't like me. He didn't return calls or e-mails for a while so I just gave up. Then I spammed him to raise money for the zine, he pledged $50 (IIRC) and said he didn't want anything. I sent him an e-mail to thank him and got no reply. I guess it's me. I checked for him recently and discovered that it's not me, he moved out of state.

Jeremy Shatan - A new fan.

Emerson Dameron - A very old fan. I remember Em wrote to me from college in Athens, GA. He liked my zine and my audio zine and sent me a nice fan letter. He told me he was playing some tracks from my CD on his radio show and I thought that was the coolest thing ever. He even recorded his show a few times and sent it to me, and I am telling you, hearing your own work on the radio is pretty fucking cool.

Catherine Spencer - Another very old friend and broker who found & sold a few apartments for us. I love Catherine to pieces.

Peter Lopez - My best friend in the whole wide world. Truly, my BFF. He's like me, only not, and much nicer.

Jennifer Saitz Flores - My sister.

Brad Chanin - We went to college together but I didn't know him then. Maybe I did, but really, it's like Woodstock, if you remember it, you weren't there.

Mor Mor (trust) - My grandmother threw in $100 from Heaven. Thanks!!

Ken Miller - He used to do a zine I liked called Shouting at the Postman. We also play a lot of Words with Friends and we are pretty evenly matched.

Deborah - My friend from work. She was always there for me when I needed someone and I was always there for her when things got hairy at work. Even though we have only gotten together a few times, I feel like we are very close.

Brian Miller - My old college suite-mate. He is still one of the coolest guys in the world. He runs the photography dept. at Dartmouth, grows his own vegetables, has a beard like a mountain man and drives a big old truck. He's one of the most original characters ever. We visit him every summer at his place in New Hampshire and my kids idolize him. They think he is the coolest person ever, because of all the stuff I mentioned, plus he has guns, a tractor and a plan in case of zombie apocalypse.

Kurt Marquart - Another cool guy from college that I didn't know then but I do know now. He was kind enough to do the artwork for "Beating the Horse That Has Already Died." Every time I see that picture, I laugh. My kids always ask me why I am punching the dead horse and I say because he was in league with Nazis.

Sara Hunsucker - My sister-in-law who is a talented artist in her own right and is opening a cool art studio for kids in Pasadena.

Gevin Shaw - A fan from way back who only knows me through reading the zine. He lives in San Francisco and usually gets his copy at Naked Eye on Haight Street.

William Wong - He's my friend Peter's brother-in-law and a very cool and funny guy. William Wong is not his real name at all, but the story is so long and convoluted that it's easier to just call him William.

Dan Wearsch - A stranger who I hope will sleep with my wife.

Phil Horton - I met Phil at Gymboree when my son Oliver was just a baby and his son Dylan was just a baby. We were the only dudes there, he is an actor, I am a writer, but we were both just dads that day. Then our kids ended up in the same pre-K class even though we live more than 30 blocks apart. He is a serious runner and regularly runs in races, including the NYC Marathon.

nabranch - I don't know this person at all. Thanks for your support, stranger!

Matthew Lewis - The name rings a bell, but I think it's because I have a cousin named Matthew and my father's name was Lewis.

Jen Cole Neville - A friend from college that I thought I had a one-night-stand with, but it turns out, that was a different girl. Jen is a cool chick who will fuck you up. She is my age and plays hardcore ladies roller derby,

Kevin W Fitzgerald - Another friend from Purchase who is very cool and even came to one of my readings in support. My wife invited him to a surprise birthday party for me and he is one of my Facebook favorites.

Yvette Mangual - Yvette is a friend of a friend who thinks I am funny.

David Carroll (Davo) - is the coolest guy from my college. The only white guy I know who could pull off waxed braids for most of college. He's also a very interesting and talented artist. I hope to see him again someday, too

Eric Deuce - I don't know Eric, but I would bet that he's got a huge penis.

Ross - He didn't even leave a last name. Maybe he doesn't want me to know who he is?

Meagan Bernabe - She is the Kevin Bacon between me and Don Swayze, a very cool chick. I met her in LA on a vacation and she was super cool and funny in person.

SB - My favorite South African lesbian from college. She is like a dude, only disgusting and horny and perverted. She used to be my best friend on Facebook and I even created a fan page for her period.

Chris Payne - Another cool friend from Purchase who I know through Brian Miller. I am always so grateful that anyone gives, so thanks, Chris!

J. Thomas Hunsucker - This is my father-in-law again, pushing me over $3,000. Thanks Gramps! He blamed it on OCD. I blame it on love.

I also wanted to say thanks to my brother Ben for not giving me a nickel. It made me very happy.