My Ass is Delicious
(kind words from reviewers and fans)
(the story of the making of the cover)
Sosumi
(legal credits & dedication)
(my introduction to the issue and the editorial)
(exploring some alternate names for my zine)
(my adventures with psychics, mediums, convicted felons, impotent, diabetic homeless Jews and hairy porn stars)
The First Zine Mash-up
(combining elements from other stories to make something that is altogether new)
Schwa, Eminem or Nietzsche?
(a quiz where you have to guess whether a paraphrased quote is from me, Eminem or Nietzsche)
Blatant Stupidity for Dummies
(a primer for the almost retarded)
(a fictional story based on my experiences playing the greatest game ever, Grand Theft Auto)
(a collection of random and all-true facts about me)
My Wife’s Maxi-Rant™
(my wife tears the world a new asshole)
(my life at work, chapter 2 in the biggest trilogy since the Lord of the Rings includes: Shut the Fuck Up and Stop Calling Here, Milton J. Prick, Will You Please Die Now and the Bonaduce Beatdown)
Who is Bonaduce?
(the backstory of my friendship with Bonaduce, the biggest cocksucker in the world, who gets a good beatdown in Karoshi)
I Was A Pimp
(strictly speaking, we’re all pimps and whores, depending on the time of day and your position in the world)
I Was A Whore
(I hope that I am more pimp than whore)
(it is always cleansing to settle scores)
TT
(my quiet remembrance of the Twin Towers, not mentioned anywhere else, not even in the table of contents in the print version)
(an introduction to my friend John Dickstein
(John Dickstein’s hilarious and dangerous life, as only he can tell it, and he is the only outside written contributor to NegCap besides my wife, ever)
(thanking everyone who did something to help)
Contractual Obligations
(the winners of the contest from the last issue get to plug their own shit)
(my sales pitch for my other offerings)
Back Cover
(like a classic book, I pose in an antique chair and smoke a pipe—well, it’s really more of a bong than a pipe, but you get the idea)