Table of ContentsIf you just want to read the zine in all of its full color splendor, you can buy a copy, but if you are a cheapskate, you can read a scanned PDF of the zine for FREE by clicking on this link.
My Ass is Delicious
(kind words from reviewers and fans)
(the story of the making of the cover)
(legal credits & dedication)
(my introduction to the issue and the editorial)
(exploring some alternate names for my zine)
Dead to Me
(some people deserve to die)
A Date with Al Goldstein
(my adventures with psychics, mediums, convicted felons, impotent, diabetic homeless Jews and hairy porn stars)
(my feelings about porn)
The First Zine Mash-up
(combining elements from other stories to make something that is altogether new)
Schwa, Eminem or Nietzsche?
(a quiz where you have to guess whether a paraphrased quote is from me, Eminem or Nietzsche)
Blatant Stupidity for Dummies
(a primer for the very stupid)
Welcome to My World
(a fictional story based on my experiences playing the greatest game ever, Grand Theft Auto)
My Wife’s Maxi-Rant™
(my wife tears the world a new asshole)
Karoshi or, I’ll Burn that Bridge When I Come to It
(my life at work, chapter 2 in the biggest trilogy since the Lord of the Rings includes: Shut the Fuck Up and Stop Calling Here, Milton J. Prick, Will You Please Die Now and the Bonaduce Beatdown)
Who is Bonaduce?
(the backstory of my friendship with Bonaduce, the biggest cocksucker in the world, who gets a good beatdown in Karoshi)
I Was A Pimp
(strictly speaking, we’re all pimps and whores, depending on the time of day and your position in the world)
I Was A Whore
(I hope that I am more pimp than whore)
(my quiet remembrance of the Twin Towers, not mentioned anywhere else, not even in the table of contents in the print version)
The Dickstein Chronicles
(an introduction to my friend John Dickstein)
The Only Good Job is a Blowjob
(John Dickstein’s hilarious and dangerous life, as only he can tell it, and he is the only outside written contributor to NegCap besides my wife, ever)
Who Helped with This?
(thanking everyone who did something to help)
(the winners of the contest from the last issue get to plug their own shit)
What Can I Buy?
(my sales pitch for my other offerings)
(like a classic book, I pose in an antique chair and smoke a pipe—well, it’s really more of a bong than a pipe, but you get the idea)