My Mini-Rant™

While watching hookers at the Bunny Ranch on HBO's series Cathouse, "I don't like the bleached out whores that look all slutty. They look like they've just been fucked. That's like ordering dinner in a restaurant and getting a half-eaten sandwich. I don't want a half-eaten sandwich, I WANT MY OWN SANDWICH!"

After watching a woman complain that she can't find any “quality” men, I screamed, "Why don't you rub ham on your slit and let your dog eat your pussy!!!”

[I saw a story on TV about a new trend called the “cuddle party.” The idea is that this modern world is cold and unfeeling, so to get some cuddles from strangers. I was aghast and here is my reaction. “A cuddle party? What the fuck is that? You go to some loser’s apartment and hug strangers? That so skeeves me out. I can't think of anything worse than being in some hippie's apartment and having strangers hug me on the floor. Fuck that.”

On the proliferation of 100-calorie, single-serving snack packs, “You know the problem with that shit? You have to eat like 2 or 3 of those little fuckers just to get a decent serving.”